Sunday, November 25, 2012

October 21, 2012

Things are going fine in Causeway Bay. We have our first baptism coming up this Sunday and his name is Felix. He is my first "real" investigator who I have helped teach from the very beginning. We also are having Melody's baptism the week after that Nov 4th and then Coco + Silence (Sister and brother) getting baptized Nov 11th. So there is a lot of good work going on in Hong Kong. It's really exciting except when they all get baptized we will have to go find new investigators; which really sucks in Hong Kong. I think I have already talked to 3000+ people and all we have are these four progressing investigators.
Missionary work is an interesting life style. I tend to be happy all day when I am out working, studying, teaching and everything else but as soon as Pday email comes or I think about home at night I get a sick feeling in my stomach. I don't know if that is home sickness or fear of being here for two years... I realized I have almost hit 5 months on my mission; Dec 5th is my 1/4 mark and I feel as if I haven't done anything and have seen no progression in my life. I mean small things have changed like I never cuss, I don't say words like retard or gay that often, or get caught up in sports but over all I don't feel a change in my person. I try very hard to get lost in studying in the scriptures (in the last week I read Nephi to Mosiah and Alma 40 to end of the book) and doing my best in my work here but at the end of the day I don't feel like much has changed with in me or my life. I don't know. This mission isn't really what I expected it to be either; no one can really prepare you for this. I have never worked so hard in my life for nothing in return; I could work as hard as I could from when I wake up at 6:30 am until I go to bed at 10:30 pm and have absolutely no success. Then at the end of the day all I can think about is "What did I do wrong?" "Why can't I speak well?" "Do I even have the spirit when I taught?" or stuff like that. I think a lot about the quote, "Do your duty, that is the best, leave unto the Lord the rest." I know I am trying my hardest and I need to be patient with myself but I feel as if this is completely pointless 98% of the time. No one cares here and just to show you: 1/4 members here are inactive; there are 20,000 members in Hong Kong but only 5,3XX are active. How can you help someone who doesn't care? Although I am currently seeing a lot of success in my area, it's due to Elder Ward and Elder Liu (his old companion) not me. I haven't found anyone willing to listen and I have been here 5 weeks. I will talk to a 200 people a day when I go finding and no really cares, they put a fake smile on and nod nicely to me.
A mission is a great opportunity to grow and I see how with all the issues you face but I also see how it can crush some people. I tend to be stubborn so I don't think I will be one who gets crushed but I know this mission is going to be very hard for me.
I love you all very much and didn't realize what I had back home. College was a pointless experience as far as making me a man and seeing the importance of life. I have seen and heard things that could crush a man's heart. The fear and doubt people have in Hong Kong is no different than America, people can't afford things and can't help their families, some people leave their families when it gets hard, suicide is high here, everyone wants a future they can't have especially for their children, and no one really has hope anymore. Life is depressing, hard and strenuous but I know it can be happy from what I have seen in our home. I thank you for that and should have known that sooner than now being almost 20 years old.

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